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Archive for March, 2012

When I picked up my pen and notepad to write this week’s thought, I saw a quote that I had jotted down a week ago. It said you have to be willing to lose everything to be yourself. That reminded me of a television commercial I saw recently about a weight loss product. Their tag line was, “What will you gain when you lose?”

 In my journey over the last several years to try to live more authentically, I often feared what I would lose, especially the approval of my family and friends. What I’ve learned is that I can’t please anyone else if I’m not pleased with myself. And most of what I am losing, I never wanted anyways. I’m losing my interest in judging and blaming others; my need to always have a plan; my need to be right. I’m losing my need for approval and, most importantly, I’m losing my fear. I’ve come to know that the “true self” I’ve been looking for was buried under all those things. Now I know that I am love, just as I was created. I have lost a lot in exchange for uncovering the truth about myself. Looking back, it seems like a good trade to me.

 “God, please help me to believe the truth about myself, no matter how beautiful it is.”     Anonymous

 Let your spirit soar!
Paula

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Greetings #12/2012

I am reminded of another story about being visited from the spirit world. It began when I prepared a speech about teaching our big, black Labrador retriever, Cobalt, to sit and stay. He had been learning so well that I decided to make him sit very far away from me in our back yard. Then, I called to him all the way from our front yard. The problem was I hadn’t taught him to stop when he reached me and this time there was enough distance for him to get a running start. Next thing I knew, I had eighty-five pounds of exuberant puppy barreling straight toward my kneecaps! I didn’t know which way to move, so I simply turned my back to him and waited for the crash. He swerved at the last minute, clearly enjoying playing “chicken” with me. A few days after I gave my speech about our beloved dog who had since passed away, a similar incident occurred while I was walking the trails of a nearby state forest. In the distance I saw a couple let their big dog off his leash. As soon as they did, he headed straight toward me at lightening speed. Not knowing what to expect, I froze but, instead of swerving around me, the dog bounded up and greeted me with so much enthusiasm that it was like the final scene from the movie, “Lassie Come Home”. The dog was so jubilant to see me that I believe in my heart it was Cobalt’s way of reenacting a story fresh in my mind to greet me from the spirit world.

Let your spirit soar!
Paula

 

 

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A recent opportunity to enter a writing competition led me to recall this story from my past. I’d like to share it with you.

My husband of over thirty years was a wonderful partner in many ways but not necessarily on the dance floor. He was a bit awkward and reluctant at best. I, on the other hand, loved to dance. If given the chance to be with an experienced partner, I was certain that I would be able to follow him effortlessly. Instead, I found myself sitting on the sidelines, tapping my foot to the music, and wishing my husband, Roger, could be the one to twirl me across the floor. After his passing, I began going to singles dances. It was there that I met Johnny O. By the end of our first dance together, I knew I had found the partner of my dreams. (It wasn’t long until I realized he was my romantic partner as well.) On the first night we met, someone actually asked us how long we had been dancing together. We were soon getting compliments all the time.

There was another man who attended the same dances who looked very much like my late husband. I had only seen him from afar and had never even made eye contact or spoken with him but, every time I saw him I instantly thought of Roger. Sometimes I would have the feeling that Roger’s spirit was watching me dance with Johnny. He had never seen me dance with someone else when he was alive so I found myself wondering what he was thinking. One night, while dancing a slow dance with Johnny, I got a very strong feeling that Roger was watching us. A wave of love for him washed over me and I silently sent that love back up to him. Just then, someone tapped me on the shoulder. At first I was a little annoyed at having this tender moment interrupted but, when I turned around, the man that looked like my husband was standing there! I was so stunned that I nearly fell over when he gave me a gentle smile and, with great admiration, asked, “Where did you ever learn to dance like that?”

Let your spirit soar!
Paula

 

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While reading an article about remembering that we are spirit beings having a human experience, one sentence really caught my attention. It said, “I have made no changes in myself that have reality.” The word “changes” made me think about creating a WORD document on my computer. When I close the document, it will ask me if I want to “save the changes”.

 It seems that, most of the time we do our best to convince ourselves of our smallness, instead of remembering how grand we are. But, what if we remembered to see ourselves as the pure, white light of love? What if each morning we started fresh, like the clean white screen of a new WORD document? During the day we’re sure to slip up and use words that speak of our limitations, of being “only human” but, at the end of the day, let’s remember the truth about ourselves. Let’s remember to say, “No” when asked, “Do you want to save the changes?”

 Let your spirit soar!
Paula

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Today I read an interesting article about journaling. I’ve journaled off and on for many years and always found it very helpful. I loved how the author described his experience. I could really relate to his words. He said he used to only write when he felt he had something to say. Now he says he writes to “find out” what he has to say. That sums up precisely why I found journaling so useful to me in the past. I didn’t write to share anything. I wrote to find answers. I wrote when I was confused, hurt, angry or afraid; when I had a tough decision to make; when I didn’t know what to do.

 Gradually my journaling led me to a more public form of writing such as my memoir (in progress) and sharing insights with you through this blog. But I’ve discovered that, even when I think I am writing to or for someone else, it is still mostly for myself. For example, as I share the virtues of journaling with you now, I realize I’m building a case for why I need to get back to doing it again.

 Excuse me, but I have to go find out what I have to say. 🙂

 Let your spirit soar!
Paula

 

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