Archive for April 19th, 2014

Surrendered #8/2014

ImageAfter two or three years of resistance and indecision, I finally had my thyroid surgically removed on Monday, April 14th. It was a three hour long procedure that involved working very close to my airway and vocal chords, so there were some reasons for concern. (I had actually cancelled the operation when it was scheduled a year ago to explore alternative treatments.) However, as the time for surgery drew nearer, I found myself becoming more and more peaceful. I not only accepted the inevitability of it. I came to a place of total surrender.

I am enormously grateful for the loving support and well wishes of all my friends. Thank you! I received many prayers and great advice about trusting, envisioning, and believing in a good outcome. But, more and more, I began to wonder, what would be a “good” outcome? A Course in Miracles tells me that I don’t know what anything is for, so how can I know what would be best for me? Every day I wake up and go to sleep with the same intention in my heart – to awaken to the divine truth about myself – my unlimitedness – my oneness with God. Having set that intention, I then have to trust that everything that happens is good for me. Could I have surgical complications? Yes. Lose my voice? Yes. Die? Yes. Have a completely uneventful and quick recovery? Yes. How do I know which of those outcomes might be the door to my spiritual awakening?

Five days after surgery, I sit here, more peaceful than I think I have ever been. Not because my surgery and recovery have been remarkably smooth, although I am delighted they have been. But, because I see how easily and wonderfully Spirit takes care of me when I totally get out of the way; because I have tasted the freedom that comes from complete trust in a benevolent and loving God; and because I have finally released (cut out) the blockage in my throat that, to me, symbolized my resistance to saying out loud to myself and the world, how very much I love Him.

Let your spirit soar!

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